I remember rather enjoying games like that. When I was allowed to play. Can't a guy have a childhood these days?

Sadly, I remember it all too well. Some generic artifact of evil, unleashed by this criminal genius, stopped by that crusading group of law-abiding citizens. I should have guessed it would all come to nothing.

Well, the Rescue Rangers certainly made my life a little less cushy. Of course, they have no way of knowing this. What happened to me that day could be called a tragic accident, certainly not their intended effect on me.

Still, they are responsible.

The oversized ears on a mouse have a purpose. Would it be so impossible for those marvellous ears to hear someone screaming for help? If I can hear them sharing their happy little war cry off in the distance, why can't they listen for a moment to my happy little shrieks of anguish? Is an opponent not a living thing? Did they laugh and say, "hey, that's one problem solved!" and go home for beer? Did the sanctimonious little rodents go home because it was me?

I'll be sure to ask them, while I am killing them slowly.

I have a lot of time to think these days. Today I reached two conclusions. The first was that I must destroy the Rescue Rangers, which I have mentioned. The second was that it won't do for me to be selfish.

I am now aware of many other souls whom the rodents would classify as villains, and whom the rodents have wronged. None as they have me, of course. But I will assemble these folk, and let them have a piece of the "knights of the law." If one Ranger dies, the others can watch. As will I.

I know what you're thinking. Don't depend on idiots to do your work. Don't taunt enemies you can simply kill. All right, let them fail. Let the Rescue Rangers beat one or a hundred; I know where they are at all times, and at all times I can finish them myself.

Who am I?

It will be more fun if I don't tell you.
 
 

Now click here, and for your own sake, forget you saw this.