ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT:  CLOSEUP OF SIGN - DUSK

The sign reads: DALE'S GARDEN -- KEEP OUT!

CHIP (O.S.)
Will you calm down, Dale? It
isn't the end of the world.

EXT:  DALE'S GARDEN - DUSK

This is a badly maintained garden. Dead and dying plants
droop in carelessly graded rows. The plants are as tall as
the chipmunks.

Dale is storming around angrily with a WATERING CAN. Chip
stands nearby with his arms folded, seething.

DALE
That's easy for you to say!
It's not your garden!

CHIP
They're just plants, Dale.
They'll grow back.

DALE
But why didn't you water them
like I said to?

CHIP
(cuffing a stalk)
I just forgot, okay? I didn't
mean for this to happen.

DALE
Huh! You just don't like
plants.

CHIP
Oh, yeah? Well, neither do
you! If you liked this garden
you'd water it yourself!

DALE
I like plants! I just ...
don't like takin' care of `em.
(kicking ground)

CHIP
That kind of attitude won't
get you anywhere. It's no
wonder I'm the leader of
this outfit.

DALE
The deuce you say!

Dale slams the watering can over Chip's head. Chip pulls it
off; he is soaked with water. He flings himself at Dale.

Their fight is interrupted by Zipper, who flies up and
squeaks at them, waving a tiny fork.

DALE
Dinnertime!

CHIP
Uh-oh ~ Monty said he was
cooking up something special.

DALE
I hope it's not walnut flamb~e
again.

CHIP
Last one there tries it first!

Chip dashes off. Dale trips over the watering can and
sprawls.

INT:  TREE'S DINING ROOM - DINNERTIME

Chip, Dale and Zipper zoom into their seats. Monterey Jack
enters with four pieces of toast.

MONTEREY

Howdy, lads! Where's Gadget?

CHIP
In her workshop, I think.

There is an explosion nearby. Everyone turns to look.

MONTEREY
Blimey! What was that?

Gadget, bruised and soot-stained, staggers in from a doorway.
Her goggles, worn down over her eyes, are cracked. She
coughs.

GADGET
Don't ask.

CHIP
(waving away smoke)
Gadget, what happened?

Gadget strips off her goggles and throws them away.

GADGET
I said don't ask, all right? 
Nothing's working today.
(sighs glumly)
Maybe I should just take a
break from machines for a
while.

MONTEREY
Well, is everybody ready for
dinner?

DALE
Sure, Monty! What cookin'?

MONTEREY
It's called Welsh rabbit! You
guys'll love it.

Monterey places a piece of toast on each plate and leaves.
They stare at their dishes dubiously. Gadget picks her toast
up.

GADGET
But, Monty ... it's just
toast. I don't see any rabbit.

Monterey reenters with a yellow-encrusted pan.

MONTEREY
No, no, Gadget luv'. Welsh
rabbit's just another name for
toast with melted chee-ee-ee-
eese!

He smacks his lips, then ladles melted cheese over their
toast ~ Welsh rarebit ["rabbit"]. Everyone smiles in relief.

CHIP
I should have known.

MONTEREY
And it ain't just any cheese,
either. It's me special blend
of herbs `n spices.

EXT:  RANGERS' TREE - SUNSET

The sun sinks in the distance, behind the tree.

MONTEREY (O.S.)
Eat hearty, lads! It doesn't
get any better than this.

Slowly, the sunset changes to night. The stars come out.

EXT:  TREE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The Rangers lie about, their stomachs bulging, looking
queasy. Chip groans. Dale is snoring.

CHIP
Oh, Monty, what have you done
to us?

MONTEREY
(gasps)
Too right! Don't worry,
Chipper me lad. Everyone
always eats too much Welsh
rarebit. It's part o' the
mystique.

GADGET
Ohhh ... I'll never sleep
tonight.

MONTEREY
Sure you will, luv'. And
you'll `ave bad dreams
somethin' awful, too.

CHIP
Bad dreams?

MONTEREY
That's the other thing about
Welsh rarebit. When ye eat too
much of it, it gives ye
terrible vivid dreams.

GADGET
(yawns)
Well, I never have bad dreams.
Think I'll go to bed; g'night,
guys.

CHIP
Yeah, me neither. I'm going to
bed too.

DALE
(wakes up; groggy)
What dreams? What're you guys
talkin' about?

Gadget, Chip and Dale leave. Monty looks at Zipper.

MONTEREY
Ah, Zipper me lad ... they
don't believe me. You mark my
words: it's gonna be a long
night for us all.

Zipper holds his belly and groans.

EXT:  FULL MOON OVER THE TREE - CRICKETS

INT:  MONTY'S ROOM - ZIPPER'S BED

Zipper whines and turns over; his wings beat against the
blanket. The camera draws closer and closer to him and blurs;
then another scene swims into focus.

ZIPPER'S DREAM is a short series of images. Colors are muted
and incomplete; backgrounds are heavily defocused. There are
no words spoken, and sound effects are either bizarre or
absent.

INT:  FIELD OF SWEETS - ZIPPER'S DREAM

First we see Zipper buzzing along somewhere dark. He looks
groggily around, then spots an endless glittering plain of
cakes and sweets ahead, wavering as if from heat. Zipper
salivates, zooms forward, dives into a strawberry tart, and
devours it from within. He hops from tart to cake to parfait.
As he licks clean a silver tray, he sees his reflection ~ and
then the blurred image of a flyswatter behind him. He looks
up and gasps to see a huge, disembodied red flyswatter above
him. He takes off just as the swatter smashes down, crumpling
the tray.

As Zipper flees over the sweets, flyswatters poke up between
the dishes and whale away at him. Frosting and fruit fly
everywhere as the swatters make a shambles of everything.
Finally Zipper zooms straight up; ten swatters collide where
he had been. He turns and gives them the raspberry, but the
sky is hung with spiderwebs; he hits one and sticks. As he
struggles, the web sprouts tendrils and cocoons him, leaving
his head free.

He gasps to see a large blue spider scuttling toward him,
holding a flyswatter. Another spider runs up, and they duel,
with their swatters, over Zipper's form. One spider swats the
other off the web to fall into darkness. The victor picks up
Zipper and licks his fangs. A shadow falls over them. They
look up at a titantic blue flyswatter hanging over them. It
rises, then swishes down ~ WHAP.

INT:  MONTY'S ROOM - ZIPPER'S BED

Zipper as he squeaks awake in his bed. He breathes a sigh of
relief, then looks over at Monty's bed, next to him.

Monty tosses and turns, grumbling, then fades away...

MONTEREY'S DREAM is prosaic at first, and looks like real
life. But there is a certain preoccupation with a particular
food.

INT:  TREE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY - MONTY'S DREAM

The Rangers are watching television, which shows only a piece
of Swiss cheese bouncing around on the screen.

Monterey is seated at the table, head buried in a newspaper. 
A picture of a cheese is visible on the front page.

All the Rangers are eating cheese. Rounds of cheese are all
around. Pieces of cheese are bouncing around outside the
windows.

MONTEREY
`Ey, lads, look at this! Says
`ere cheese dropped eight
cents a pound yesterday.

The other Rangers seem to be mesmerized by the bouncing
cheese on TV. They are eating cheese, their hands moving in
unison.

CHIP
Uh-huh.

MONTEREY
And `ow about this! They just
found out that cheese cures
th' common cold and slows down
th' aging process.

DALE
Yep.

MONTEREY
And this `ere! You'll like
this, Gadget. Says they're
thinkin' of usin' cheese t'
generate electricity.

GADGET
Golly.

Monty twitches, shakes the paper angrily and glares at it.

MONTEREY
What's this? What's this?
Cheese declared illegal? `At's
outrageous! `Oo says?

There is a KNOCK on the door. Monty looks up alertly.

MONTEREY
Oh ~ Someone at th' door.

He gets up to answer it.

INT:  MONTY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT - MONTY ASLEEP

Monty struggles in his sleep. He waves his hands frantically.

MONTEREY (ASLEEP)
No, lad...! Don't answer the
door, ye fool!

INT:  TREE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY - MONTY'S DREAM

The front door CREAKS open to reveal Rat Capone in a patched,
threadbare black policeman's uniform, at the head of a pack
of blank-eyed dead-black RATS with grasping hands.

RAT CAPONE
`Ello, citizen. Rumor `as it
youse folks've got cheese
`ere. Whereizzit?

MONTEREY
Right this way, lads. `Elp
yourself.

Monty stands to one side, and the black rats pour in. They
fan out and confiscate all the cheese in the room. Several
enter the kitchen and come out staggering under armloads of
cheese. One rat plucks the cheese from the TV; the screen
becomes just static.

Throughout all this, none of the Rangers so much as blink.
Only Monty seems mildly put off; he frowns.

MONTEREY
Now, boys, d'ye think all
that's really necessary?

INT: MONTY'S ROOM - NIGHT - MONTY ASLEEP

The real Monterey writhes in his blankets. He wrings his
hands.

MONTEREY (ASLEEP)
No, no...! Don't let `em get
away wi' that!

INT: TREE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY - MONTY'S DREAM

Rat Capone is writing out a SUMMONS. Through the door behind
him can be seen pieces of cheese bouncing around outside,
chased by more black rats.

RAT CAPONE
I'm chargin' youse wit'
`arborin' cheese in direct
violatin' o' th' law.
(tearing off summons, hands it to Monty)
Don' let it `appen again.

MONTEREY
`Course not, officer. You can
always count on me.

The black rats, arms full of cheese, crowd into the doorway
and stick fast. Capone shoves them through, then slams the
door: BOOM.

There is a peculiar pause; everyone seems frozen for several
beats. Then Monterey blanches.

MONTEREY
Blimey...! Lads, did you see
what just `appened? All our
cheese is gone! Lads?

Chip, Dale, Gadget and Zipper are still staring at the snowy
TV.

Monterey goes over and stands in front of the screen.

MONTEREY
Listen up, lads! What're we
gonna do now? All our food's
gone! We've gotta get some
more!

There is no response. Monty surveys the Rangers with obvious
disgust. He advances and gathers them up like cordwood.

MONTEREY
Blimey! I `ave to do all the
work `round `ere.

INT:  TREE'S FRONT DOOR - DAY - MONTY'S DREAM

Monterey, arms full of Rangers, kicks the door open. He dumps
them in a heap and pulls a windup key from a pocket. He
proceeds to wind the Rangers up, setting them down to let
them walk away.

MONTEREY
Now, you lads return right
quick with some cheese,
alright? Make ol' Monty proud,
now!

Monty goes back inside.

Zipper, flapping his wings just enough to stay aloft, bumps
into the tree before wandering away after Chip and Gadget.
Dale falls down and lies there, still trying to walk, like a
windup toy.

INT:  TREE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY - MONTY'S DREAM

Monty claps his hands with satisfaction, then goes over and
adjusts the TV. He plops down onto a cushion.

MONTEREY
Let's see if I can take me
mind off o' cheese for a bit.

The screen flickers, then shows a glowing genie lamp.

PROFESSOR NIMNULL'S VOICE (O.S.)
Friends, are you troubled by
the loss of your favorite
food? Nimnull's Magic Lamps
can help you! For all the
money you own ~

Monty changes the channel. The screen flickers, then shows a
DARK, BLOATED SHAPE, just a shadow with shiny white teeth and
glowing yellow slits for eyes. The Shape holds up a piece of
cheese, also glowing a brilliant yellow. It speaks softly, in
FAT CAT's voice.

DARK, BLOATED SHAPE
Friends ~ are you troubled by
the loss of your favorite
food? I can help you. Just
let me into your home and your
troubles will be over. Because
I alone hold the secret of the
ENDLESS PIECE OF CHEESE. Call
today! Don't wait another
moment to satisfy your
craving. Excuse me.

The Shape turns and walks out of view offscreen. The windows
around Monty suddenly darken.

Monty (in the dream) is distracted by a KNOCK on the tree's
door.

INT:  MONTY'S ROOM - NIGHT - MONTY ASLEEP

MONTEREY (ASLEEP)
No...! Don't open it, Monty,
ye fool! Don't do it!

INT:  TREE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT - MONTY'S DREAM

The door CREAKS open again. It is now dark outside. Standing
before the door is the Dark, Bloated Shape, still just a
shadow. It towers over Monty; in fact, it is exactly the same
size as Fat Cat. In one shadowy paw the Shape clutches Chip,
Dale, Gadget and Zipper in a colorful handful. They are
mindlessly trying to walk.

DARK, BLOATED SHAPE
Greetings, friend. Are you Mr.
Monterey Jack?

MONTEREY
(oblivious)
Aye, that's me.

DARK, BLOATED SHAPE
Tell me, Monty - are you
hungry?

The Shape pulls Dale free with his other hand, pops him into
his mouth with a POINK, swallows, and rubs his stomach.

MONTEREY
(rubs his own stomach)
Aye ~ I am a bit `ungry, at
that.

DARK, BLOATED SHAPE
Well, suffer no more, my
friend. You have been selected
to partake in a marvelous
experiment. Do you see this?

The Shape brings yet another paw from behind its back (that's
three) and holds up the piece of cheese, glowing a brilliant
yellow as before. Its odor reaches Monty's nose; he twitches.

INT:  MONTY'S ROOM - NIGHT - MONTY ASLEEP

MONTEREY (ASLEEP)
No, no! Keep away! Don't
listen to `im!

INT:  TREE'S FRONT DOOR - NIGHT - MONTY'S DREAM

MONTEREY
Why, that's ~ that's ~ CHEE-EE-
SE!

The Shape dangles Gadget over its mouth, drops her in and
gulps.

DARK, BLOATED SHAPE
Indeed, you are correct!
Friend, this is the ENDLESS
PIECE OF CHEESE. It's One Of A
Kind. You'll not see anything
like it ever again.

MONTEREY
(downcast)
Too right! They took all our
cheese. There's no cheese left
to be `ad for love nor money,
not anywhere.

Zipper escapes from the Shape's grip. The Shape snags him
with a shadowy froglike tongue and smacks its lips.

MONTEREY
(continuing, oblivious)
I sent the lads out a while
ago to try and find some. Have
ye seen them?

DARK, BLOATED SHAPE
Don't worry about them ...
just worry about Me.
(as it tosses Chip up and catches him)
I'm going to give you this
cheese ... absolutely free.

The Figure tosses the cheese to Monterey.

MONTEREY
...For me? The Endless Piece
of Cheese? Y' mean it?

DARK, BLOATED SHAPE
Eat hearty, my lad.  Eat
hearty...

The Shape tosses Chip down its throat, then fades away into
the night. Monty holds up the cheese.

MONTEREY
What a nice bloke. Imagine ...
`avin' one piece o' cheese do
ye for y'whole life!

INT:  MONTY'S ROOM - NIGHT - MONTY ASLEEP

MONTEREY (ASLEEP)
No! No...! Don't eat that, ye
crazy idjit!

FADE OUT.

END ACT ONE



BEGIN ACT TWO

EXT:  JUST OUTSIDE TREE'S FRONT DOOR - NIGHT - MONTY'S DREAM

Monty gulps down the cheese, burps, and pats his stomach.

MONTEREY
Ah ... that really hits the
spot.

A rumbling begins. Monty's stomach bulges. He looks down.

MONTEREY
`Ey! What's this?

Monty's belly continues to inflate, immobilizing him. He
grows and grows. In a trice he is too large for the branch to
support him; it collapses. He keeps expanding; soon he is as
big as the Tree.

MONTEREY
Blimey! What's `appenin' to
me?

Monty flails his arms, but he is now as big as the park, so
he accidentally flattens the Rangers' Tree. He looks at the
wreckage.

MONTEREY
Oops! Clumsy me.

EXT: HORIZON SHOT - NIGHT - MONTY BIGGER THAN LIFE - MONTY'S
DREAM

Monty grows larger. Buildings crumble as he takes up their
space.

MONTEREY
Strike me starkers! When's
this gonna stop?

EXT:  PLANET EARTH - STARRY DARKNESS - MONTY'S DREAM

Monty is soon as big as the planet. He bumps his head on the
moon, which is blue. He yelps in pain, then picks up the
rapidly shrinking moon and studies it.

MONTEREY
Look at that! The moon's not
green cheese after all. It's
Bleu cheese.

He pops the moon, now the size of a marble, into his mouth.

MONTEREY
(mouth full)
Hmm! Not bad, if I do say so
meself.

EXT:  MILKY WAY - BLACK EMPTINESS - MONTY'S DREAM

Monty looks around and sees that he is as large as the Milky
Way.

MONTEREY
Oh no! Where's me home?

Monty begins pawing at the Milky Way in search of the Earth.
He stirs it into a whirlpool, which soon swirls away down an
unseen drain.

When it is all gone, there is only darkness around him.
Disheartened, he spins slowly in the emptiness.

MONTEREY
Well, Monterey, you really got
yerself into a mess this time.
Was it worth it, d'ye think?

FAT CAT (O.S.)
Why, of course it was worth
it!

The Dark, Bloated Shape detaches itself from the background
and reveals itself to be FAT CAT, who sniggers. Fat Cat is
still huge compared to Monterey, and dressed in a dead black
tuxedo.

FAT CAT
Now I have a king-sized snack!
Just perfect for Me ... the
ruler of the universe ... nyah
hah.

MONTEREY
(gasps)
Fat Cat! It's you!

Fat Cat puts two fingertips together, generating a spark.

FAT CAT
I think I'll just create a
brave new world, so to speak
... nyah hah. But first ... my
midnight snack.

Fat Cat, teeth glinting, reaches for Monty, who makes futile
running motions but goes nowhere.

INT:  MONTY'S ROOM - NIGHT - MONTY ASLEEP

MONTEREY (ASLEEP)
Run! Run! Ye've got to get
away!

EXT:  AN EMPTY UNIVERSE - MONTY'S DREAM

Fat Cat's huge beringed hand grabs Monty and holds him above
his immense, bloated face.

FAT CAT
Ah, the age-old game of cat
and mouse ... and I win!

He tosses Monty into his cavernous mouth. Monty flails as his
surroundings fade to darkness. His belly deflates, and
suddenly he is flailing in his bed, in the treehouse; the
dream is over.

INT:  MONTY'S ROOM - NIGHT - MONTY AWAKE

Monty awakes with a yell, and gasps and pants for a while.
Zipper flies down to sit solicitously on his shoulder.

MONTEREY
Jeremiah Sebastian! I `aven't
`ad a dream that awful since I
ate that whole bottle o' Bleu
Cheese dressin'.
(to Zipper)
Ah, Zipper me lad, I've just
paid me dues what come with
eatin' the Welsh Rarebit.
How's th' night been for you?

Zipper holds his head and groans. Monty pats him on the head.

MONTEREY
Buck up, lad. It was just a
dream. Let's go `ave us a
midnight snack ... brrr! And
no cheese for me!
(shivers, looking around)
Ain't gonna be much sleepin'
goin' on round `ere tonight, I
can tell ye that.

INT:  GADGET'S ROOM - GADGET ASLEEP

Gadget twitches, then grimaces and turns onto her side. Then
her surroundings and clothing dissolve and change. Now it is
morning and her bed has become lush satin, strewn with silk
pillows. Her nightgown is silk and she wears jewelry. Her
hair is long and lies strewn about. Her nails are polished
and painted an emerald green.

GADGET'S DREAM is a langorous, soft-focus fantasy. All
backgrounds are poorly focused; colors are always exotic
blends instead of primaries. All movement is slow and
languid, and as dramatic as possible. No modern technology is
present at all.

INT:  A PALACE IN SLUMBERLAND - MORNING - GADGET'S DREAM

Monterey's arm appears and gently shakes Gadget awake.

MONTEREY JACK (O.S.)
Good morning, milady! Rise and
shine!

Gadget moans and stirs. Then she sits up, blinking.

GADGET
Where am I?

She looks over at Monterey, who is dressed as an Arabian
eunuch, complete with scimitar. Monterey bows deeply.

MONTEREY
In your royal palace, milady.
Welcome to another day.

Gadget examines the pendant on her necklace. She sits on the
edge of the huge bed and stares around at exotic arches,
statues, and murals. She looks at the rich bracelets on her
wrists and ankles.

GADGET
Golly ... this must be a
dream.

MONTEREY
A dream? No, your majesty,
you're awake now. Shall I draw
you a bath?

GADGET
But ... I don't remember any
of this.
(looks at Monterey)
Who am I?

MONTEREY
Who are you? Why, you're ~ the
most beautiful princess in all
of Slumberland. And I - your
humble servant.

He bows again, deeply. Gadget examines the rings on her
fingers. She starts to smile.

GADGET
Golly ... this is great. I'm a
princess! Listen, Monty~
(clears throat, then resumes haughtily)
Tell me, slave: as a princess
... do I have a workshop?

MONTEREY
A workshop...? Not that I can
recall, milady; why?

GADGET
Oh, wow...! This is just
great. No machines... hmmm.
(to Monterey, archly)
Begone, slave! I must collect
my thoughts.

MONTEREY
As you wish, milady.

He bows and backs out of the room.

GADGET
Golly, this is so nice.
(lies back reflectively)
It's too bad there's no one
here to share it with.

EXT:  A PALACE IN SLUMBERLAND - DAY - GADGET'S DREAM

The unbelievably huge sunlit Palace is something Winsor McKay
might draw. Fountains sparkle in the courtyards. No one is
visible, but Monty's voice is heard.

MONTEREY (O.S.) (ECHOING)
Princess...! Milady, where are
you?

INT:  THRONE ROOM - DAY - GADGET'S DREAM

Gadget, in a gauzy dress, lounges on a wicker throne on a
raised dais. Zipper, also dressed in finery, is perched on
her finger. Gadget is wearing eyeshadow now and looks rather
Egyptian.

MONTEREY (O.S.)
There you are, milady.

Gadget and Zipper turn to look at Monterey, panting in a
doorway.

GADGET
Yes?

MONTEREY
(bows)
Beggin' your pardon, milady,
but there's someone at the
castle gate. He demands to see
you.

GADGET
(frowns)
What does he want?

MONTEREY
Well, you do remember, milady,
how his majesty the Caliph,
your father, does want you to
be married...?

GADGET
No.

MONTEREY
(bows very low)
A thousand pardons, milady.
This fellow at the gate
believes himself to be a
suitor for your hand. I shall
return and convince him of his
error.

He grasps his scimitar and retreats. Gadget holds out her
hand.

GADGET
Stop, there. This visitor,
what is he like?

MONTEREY
He's a foreigner, milady. From
another land, far away.

GADGET
Really? Why don't you send him
in.

MONTEREY
But, milady...! He's a
chipmunk, different from us.
And he looks a fearsome
fighter, too.

GADGET
And he sounds most
interesting. Bring him forth!

MONTEREY
As you command, milady.

He bows low and backs away. Gadget shivers with delight.

GADGET
Oh, I love the sound of
that!

The huge DOORS of the throne room are thrown open with a
BOOM. Chip stalks in, dressed as an exotic warrior. His sword
is straight, not a curved scimitar. He wears a gleaming
silver helmet that is shaped exactly like his hat in real
life.

Monterey joins Gadget on the dais as Chip advances and bows.

CHIP
Greetings, your majesty. I
come from across the sea, on a
voyage of friendship.

GADGET
(buffs her nails)
I don't doubt it. Tell me,
sir; what do you think of me?

CHIP
(bows again)
With respect ~ your majesty is
very beautiful.

GADGET
(smiles sunnily)
Yes, I know. And, why have you
come to me?

CHIP
To ask you for your hand in
marriage, your majesty.

GADGET
Marriage...? I'm not sure I'm
ready for that just yet.

CHIP
(bows once more)
That is for your majesty to
decide, of course.

Gadget twirls a flower beneath her nose, thinking.

GADGET
Tell me something else, noble
sir: are there others who fain
would be here in your place?

CHIP
There were hundreds, your
majesty. But I am the one who
won the honor of asking for
your hand.

DALE (O.S.)
LIAR!

Dale, dressed like Chip but without the hat, crashes in
through one of the high arched windows, and kneels before the
throne.

DALE
Don't listen to him, your
majesty! It is I who deserve
the honor. This impostor will
bring you, uh, dishonor.

Chip advances on Dale angrily.

CHIP
You're the impostor! The King
himself chose me to represent
the whole kingdom. You weren't
even there!

DALE
Aha! You admit that I wasn't
there! Then you'll also admit
that if I had been there, the
King would have chosen me, not
you!

Gadget watches with a smile, taking a grape from a plate
Monterey proffers. Zipper fans her with his wings.

CHIP
Nonsense! Your majesty, don't
listen to this fool.

DALE
Forget it, Chip! I'm not going
to let a beautiful princess
marry a creep like you.

They draw their swords. The blades elongate and glow bright
blue.

CHIP
Oh, so that's how you want it?
So be it!

GADGET
Stop! I command it!

The chipmunks turn to look at Gadget, who is standing on the
dais.

GADGET
Now, enough! I am very
flattered ... but there will
be no fighting in this palace
unless I desire it.

CHIP & DALE (IN UNISON)
Yes, your majesty.

Gadget stands for a moment longer, then smiles. She sits
down.

GADGET
All right ~ you may begin.

Chip and Dale raise their swords immediately and fall upon
each other. Their swords sound and behave like "light-
sabers".

DALE
Yield, you blackguard!

CHIP
Never, usurper!

Their dueling becomes more frenzied. Their parries and
thrusts damage decor and hack chunks from the walls and
floor.

MONTEREY
Milady ... shouldn't you stop
them before they hurt
something?

GADGET
I would not stop them if I
could. Isn't it wonderful, to
have two brave warriors
fighting for my hand?

MONTEREY
If you say so, milady. But I
fear for the palace.

Chip swings at Dale, who ducks. Chip's sword slices through a
column. The column crumbles and the walls shake.

Monty looks up and gasps.

MONTEREY
Milady! Look out!

Monty shields Gadget with his body as the ceiling collapses.
When the dust clears, the chipmunks are still fighting amid
the rubble.

Gadget claps her hands and laughs.

GADGET
Oh, how marvelous! What
fortitude! Ha ha ha!

Dale forces Chip back into a wall, buckling it. The Palace
shakes. The ground pitches wildly, toppling Monterey and
spilling Gadget from her throne.

EXT:  A PALACE IN SLUMBERLAND - HAZY - GADGET'S DREAM

The Palace shakes in the quake. It crumbles and crashes to
the ground in a huge cloud of dust.

EXT:  RUINED THRONE ROOM - GADGET'S DREAM

Gadget is left lying in a pile of silk finery next to her
toppled throne. Wreckage is mounded all around. She extends a
clenched fist to the fighters.

GADGET
Go for it, boys! Do it for me!

She laughs wildly as the chipmunks battle back and forth over
the tilting, debris-strewn floor. Suddenly both swords
shatter against each other. Chip and Dale drop everything and
grapple with their bare hands.

The ground rumbles. Purplish-black clouds scud and swirl
across the flickering orange sky. Great chasms open in the
floor, redlit from below. Monterey slips half into one of
these cracks. Zipper tries to pull him to safety, without
success.

MONTEREY
Milady! What's happening?

GADGET
Does it matter? It's
marvelous!

The chipmunks clamber up the stairway to the dais as the
floor falls away beneath them. Flames shoot up all around the
dais.

CHIP
She's mine!

DALE
She's MINE!

Gadget, laughing, holds her arms out to them.

GADGET
Take me, I'm yours!

DALE
See, she said she was mine!

CHIP
No, she said she was MINE!

Each chipmunk seizes one of Gadget's arms.

MONTEREY
(angrily)
Hey! Unhand the princess, you
ruffians!

A crack opens and widens beneath Gadget's feet. She finds
herself dangling over flames, supported by her arms. She
stops laughing.

GADGET
Hey, wait a minute.

CHIP & DALE (IN UNISON)
Don't worry, princess! I've
got you!

The chipmunks strain at Gadget's arms. She is stretched
painfully.

GADGET
Ow!! Stop it! Let go! I
command it!

CHIP & DALE (IN UNISON)
(in some surprise)
Yes, your majesty.

-As both of them let go. Gadget hangs in the air for a second
...

GADGET
Whoops.

She drops like a stone into the chasm.

CHIP, DALE, AND MONTEREY (IN UNISON)
Princess!

Gadget falls down, down, into the fiery depths. She flails
her arms, and suddenly lands in her bed; her clothes and
surroundings are back to normal.

INT:  GADGET'S ROOM - NIGHT - GADGET AWAKE

Gadget looks at herself in shocked relief.

GADGET
Golly ... Some dream...!
(wraps her arms around herself and shivers)
... Golly ... go figure.

INT:  DALE'S ROOM - NIGHT - DALE ASLEEP

Dale is sleeping soundly with his hands behind his head. He
is frowning. He mumbles to himself softly:

DALE
Well, if that's the kind of
garden you want, do it
yourself then, see if I care.
Don't point that rake at me!
Who do you think I am?

He turns over and slumbers, then starts to blur.

DALE'S DREAM is a simplistic, innocent fantasy of the Garden
of Eden. Voices and body language are bright and cheery;
colors are glossy and simple, with the emerald green of the
Garden dominating everything. Backgrounds are clear and
sharp.

EXT:  SOFT WHITE NOTHINGNESS - DALE'S DREAM

Dale is wandering sleepily, without his shirt, or anything
else.

EXT:  THE GARDEN OF EDEN - DAY - DALE'S DREAM

Slowly, around him, the Garden FADES IN. Eden is a wonderland
of nodding daisies and trees, beautiful and ethereal. Dale
slows and stops in a clearing. He looks down at the soft
grass, blinking.

DALE
Where am I?

He beholds, lying on the grass before him, the sign from the
first scene: DALE'S GARDEN. The words KEEP OUT have been
bitten from the sign by jagged teeth.

Dale picks up the sign, then tosses it away.

DALE
Gosh, what a beautiful garden.
I wonder who lives here.

MONTEREY (O.S.)
Why, you do, Adam me lad!

Monterey Jack, in the form of an angel, complete with wings
and a clipboard, drifts down on a sunbeam to stand before
Dale.

DALE
Gosh. Are you an angel?

MONTEREY
Ah, you're a quick one, for
someone's just now created.

DALE
What do you mean?

MONTEREY
What I say! Me boy, you are
the very...first...chipmunk.
(poking Dale in the stomach as punctuation)
You were just created, me lad.

DALE
Created? By who?

MONTEREY
Why, by Himself, of course.
By, ah ~
(clears throat, jerking thumb skyward)
The Big Cheeese.

DALE
(puzzled)
You mean --

MONTEREY
-- Ah, well, I don't know Him
that well. I just work for
Him. He sent me `ere to show
you `round. Come on now! Let's
see the sights.

He takes Dale's hand and they move off.

EXT:  A WATERFALL IN EDEN - DAY - DALE'S DREAM

This is a lovely little waterfall above a small pool,
complete with rainbow. Dale and Monterey are watching from
the bank.

MONTEREY
`Ow about that! Ain't it the
loveliest waterfall you ever
saw?

DALE
It's the only one I ever saw.
What's it called?

MONTEREY
It ain't called anything, yet.
You get to name it.

DALE
I get to name it?

MONTEREY
Course you do! After all,
you're `ere first. You get to
name everything ye see.  Oh,
um ...
(refers to clipboard)
`Cept, ah, yourself. Your name
is Adam. That's Rule #1!
Orders from above, you know.

DALE
But ~ but I thought my name
was Dale.

MONTEREY
(frowns)
None o' that, now! Remember,
this is a dream. You keep
yerSELF out of it.

Monterey holds out his hand, and Zipper, who is not wearing
his little sweater, immediately flutters down to sit on his
wrist.

MONTEREY
Now look at this little
critter, here. Quick ~ think
of something to call it!
Anything you like.

DALE
(scratches his head)
Well, it flies, so ~ it's a
"fly," I guess.

Zipper flies away. Monterey puts on his frown again and
coughs.

MONTEREY
Yes, well, Th' Boss and I was
hopin' for a bit more
creativity, if y'know what I
mean. Try a little `arder next
time ... Now, what's this
thing, `ere?

They are standing beneath a small gnarled vine. Monty
indicates one of many grapes of exquisite beauty dangling
over their heads.

DALE
Well, it looks like a grape,
so, I guess it's a grape.

MONTEREY
That's me boy. Looks good,
don't it?

He prods the grape; it sways slowly back and forth.

MONTEREY
Gettin' hungry yet?

DALE
Boy, am I ever! Hey, we could
eat that grape.

MONTEREY
(holds up clipboard, waggles finger)
Nope! Rule #2: No grapes! You
can't eat a grape, no matter
what. Orders from above;
sssorry.

DALE
What? That's not fair!

MONTEREY
Fair? Who said anything about
fair? The Boss can do whatever
`e wants! Ye got to obey
orders, jest like me.

DALE
The deuce you say! I'm
leaving.

He stomps off. Monty runs forward and blocks his path.

MONTEREY
`Ere, now! I didn't say there
wasn't food. You can eat
anythin' you want, `cept
grapes. `Ere, have a hazelnut.

DALE
Fooey on that! Who needs a
garden anyway?

MONTEREY
But there's more! There's
fresh water, and more critters
wantin' names! You can't
leave; this whole place was
made for you special.

DALE
Aw, forget that. I'm goin'
someplace where I don't have
to follow nobody's stupid
orders.

MONTEREY
Ah! Well ~ there's one more
little thing I forgot t'
mention. You'd be leavin'
behind Eve, over there.

He indicates a smiling Gadget, who is standing a little way
off, clad only in her (very) long flowing hair. Dale's eyes
bug out.

DALE
Wow! Y'mean she's here too?

MONTEREY
Only if you are! ... That's
Rule #3.

Dale zooms over to stand next to "Eve." He waves at the sky.

DALE
All right! Yes, sir! All the
way with the Big Cheese!

MONTEREY
Well now, Adam lad, let's not
get carried away. Nice t' see
a bit o' enthusiasm, though.
(checks tiny sundial on wrist)
Well, I've got t' be going
now. You two `ave fun. And
remember, don't touch the
grapes. Hands off!

Monterey turns away and climbs an invisible stairway into the
sky.

Dale watches. Then Gadget takes his arm.

GADGET
Hi, "Adam." You hungry? Want a
grape?

She holds up a plump grape. Dale gasps.

DALE
Don't eat that! We can't touch
that! Give me that.

Dale grabs the grape from her and tosses it into the pool
beneath the waterfall. It sinks with a PLOOP.

DALE
So much for that. Hey, I know
a good name for the waterfall,
now ~ Grape Falls.

GADGET
It's a beautiful name.

She embraces Dale and nuzzles him. He is delighted.

DALE
Come on, let's find something
else to eat!

They scamper off downstream.

The pool's surface is broken by a scaled head. A SERPENT
rises from the water, an emerald diamondback rattler ending
in Chip's upper body (scales in place of fur, no clothes).
The Serpent's eyes are yellow with slit pupils, and his
forked tongue flickers between smallish fangs. In his clawed
hands he holds the grape, with a bite out of it.

The Serpent takes another bite and peers after Dale and
Gadget. His voice is Chip's, slowed down and distorted to a
snaky hiss.

SERPENT
Vissitorssss. How niccce.

END ACT TWO



BEGIN ACT THREE

EXT:  A MURMURING BROOK IN EDEN - DAY - DALE'S DREAM

Dale and Gadget sit under a big flower. Dale's head is on her
lap.

GADGET
So all of this was made for
you?

DALE
Yeah, and I get to name
everything, too! Neat, huh?

GADGET
Really! What's this flower
called?

She picks a buttercup and holds it up. Dale studies it.

DALE
I dunno ... it's a
"buttercup," I guess.

GADGET
"Buttercup"... how beautiful.

She smells the flower, then drops it into the brook. It
floats briefly; then the Serpent rises beneath it.

Dale and Gadget sit up in surprise; but the Serpent only
smiles and bows, first to Dale and then to Gadget, while
speaking.

SERPENT
Hello there, sssir, madam. I
am called...

Here the Serpent pauses and gestures expectantly at Dale.
Dale is caught off guard.

DALE
Uh -- Chip...?

The Serpent nods and is about to speak to Gadget again; but
instead he pauses and regards Dale askance.

SERPENT
..."Chip?" What kind of a name
isss that...?

DALE
Well, you look like him, I
mean ... uh ...

SERPENT
How about "Sssserpent?" It
ssssounds better.

DALE
Sure, okay. "Serpent."

The Serpent nods, then turns to Gadget again, clearing his
throat.

SERPENT
...Sssssserpent, at your
ssserviccce.

He picks the buttercup off the top of his head and offers it
to Gadget. "Eve" accepts it, touched.

GADGET
Thanks, Mister Serpent.

DALE
Hey, stop that! You want
flowers, Gadget? I mean, Eve?
I'll get you flowers. Soon `s
I find some ...

He casts about for some blooms. The Serpent points offscreen.

SERPENT
There'sss a beautiful bunch of
blosssomsss over there.

DALE
Really? Thanks.

Dale heads offscreen.

The Serpent immediately moves closer to Gadget and puts an
arm round her shoulders.

SERPENT
My dear, it'ss a lovely day.
Are you enjoying yoursself?

GADGET
(all innocence)
I sure am! This place is so
beautiful.

SERPENT
It sssure isss.  Tell me ...
would you like to sssee
sssomething even more
beautiful?

GADGET
I sure would.

The Serpent brings his grape (with two bites out of it) from
behind his back. He hands it to Gadget with a smile.

SERPENT
There. Isssn't it lovely?

GADGET
Gosh ... but Adam said I'm not
supposed to touch this.

SERPENT
Iss that sso? Tell me, why
not? Did he ssay why not...?

The Serpent's eyes are brilliant and penetrating.  Gadget's
eyelids droop and her pupils spin.

GADGET
Gosh, I sure feel sleepy.

SERPENT
Why don't you lie down and
resst. That'ss right.

Gadget falls asleep. The grape rolls from her lap onto the
grass.

Dale comes back onscreen with a bunch of LILIES.

DALE
Here, Gadget, I mean Eve. Oh
no!
(as he drops the lilies and picks up the grape)
A grape! Oh, gosh! Did she~
did she~ eat- t~this?

The swaying Serpent closes his eyes and shakes his head
solemnly.

SERPENT
I'm afraid we both have. Oh,
woe iss me! It weighss heavy
inssside me.

DALE
Oh gosh! What'll we do? Help!
Help!

Monterey the Angel steps immediately from the side of the
screen.

MONTEREY
Alright, what's the problem
`ere? What's goin' on?

DALE
Oh, gosh, Mister Angel, Gadget
and the Serpent ate a grape!
Look!

He holds out the grape (which has two bites out of it).

Monterey looks at the sleeping Gadget and the smiling
Serpent. His brow clouds thunderously, and his eyes blaze; he
doubles in size.

MONTEREY
Jumpin' Jerusalem! They've
broken Rule #2!!
(makes mark on clipboard so hard his pencil breaks)
Now they must pay the Ultimate
Penalty: expulsion from the
Garden!

He advances and picks up Gadget and the Serpent.

EXT:  THE GATE OF EDEN - DAY - DALE'S DREAM

Monterey carries Gadget and the Serpent up to a huge GATE
that stretches up to infinity, unlocks a large padlock with
the letters D A L E engraved on it, and throws the gate open
with a CREAK. Outside is only blackness, full of watching,
blinking eyes, with a white floor lit by sunlight streaming
through the Gate.

Monty tosses Gadget and the Serpent through the Gate. Gadget
is still asleep as she lands on the "floor"; the Serpent
lands on his coils, smiling knowingly.

DALE
Hey, what're you doing? What's
out there?

MONTEREY
(pulling Gate shut)
Darkness! The Unknown! Who
knows? Now they're out in it!

DALE
But Gadget ~ I mean, Eve! She
needs me!

He charges for the Gate, but bounces off Monty's ample
stomach.

MONTEREY
Sorry, me boy, but yer still
innocent. Ye can't go through
as long as you `aven't eaten
that grape.

DALE
But that's not fair!

He peers through the Gate, sees the Serpent regarding Gadget
covetously, licking his lips.

DALE
What the heck! It's just a
dream. And I gotta save her!

He is still carrying the grape; now he swallows it.

A shadow falls across him; he looks up to see Monty, now
huge, his eyes sunbursts. Monty pulls a flaming sword from
behind his back.

MONTEREY
YOU ASKED FOR IT! NOW PAY TH'
ULTIMATE PRICE!

EXT:  EYE-FILLED DARKNESS - NIGHT - DALE'S DREAM

Dale is booted through the Gate and lands hard. The Gate
swings to with an echoing BOOM.

Now the only light comes from Gadget, who glows softly. The
eyes watch the Serpent hover over "Eve," evilly lit by her
glow.

DALE
Gosh, why's she glowin' like
that?

SERPENT
(laughs harshly)
Becausse sshe never ate the
grape! Sshe'ss sstill
innoccent, and sstill part of
the Garden! But sshe'ss
outsside itss protection now;
that meanss sshe'ss MINE.

Instead of looking frightened, Dale looks confused.

DALE
Oh, no! What have I done? ...
Gosh, what HAVE I done...?

The Serpent giggles as he wraps Gadget in his coils. Dale
runs to her defense, but is smacked away.

Dale gets up again and sees that Gadget is being stretched,
elongated, in the Serpent's coils.

DALE
Oh, gosh! What's happenin' to
you, Gadget?

Two glowing serpents untwine from each other and hiss at him.
One looks like Chip, the other like Gadget.

Dale scratches his head, perplexed.

DALE
Gosh ~ I'm not understandin'
this dream at all.

The two serpents strike, wrapping Dale in their coils. He
looks from one scaled, hissing face to another.

DALE
Help! Helppp...

He is stretched, too, and drains away down a whirlpool of
swirling eyes. Then he is covered by a mass of green. He
twitches, then throws off his green bedspread.

INT:  DALE'S ROOM - NIGHT - DALE AWAKE

Now Dale is lying panting in his bunk bed. He looks around.

DALE
Gosh, that was a weird dream.
I guess that's what Monty was
talking about. Chip? Hey,
Chip, you awake?

Dale peers into the lower bunk at Chip, who is tossing and
turning in his sleep. Chip flips over onto his stomach and
grabs his pillow. Then his surroundings fade out.

EXT:  TOP OF BARE ROCKY RIDGE - LATE AFTERNOON - CHIP'S DREAM

Chip perks up and assumes an alert prone position as his
normal clothing fades into view on his body, with additions
like grenades, flamethrower, ammo belt, and a machete. He has
binoculars held to his eyes.

Below him is a valley filled with horrid writhing CARNIVOROUS
PLANTS. In the sky, puffy blue-black clouds roil around the
swollen, inflamed sun.

CHIP'S DREAM is a violent, militaristic fantasy of himself as
Fearless Leader of a band of mercenaries. None of the
technology present is of the normal cobbled-together-from-
human-junk variety; all of it is to scale. Most colors are
brown (bare, rocky earth) or a sickening blackish green (the
color of the villainous vegetation). Everything here is
played for every bit of cheap melodrama possible, always
focusing on Chip.

EXT:  BROWN TOWER THROUGH CHIP'S BINOCULARS - CHIP'S DREAM

The Brown Tower is a ridiculously enormous windowless
structure like a chess rook. Fierce carnivorous plants swarm
all around it.

EXT:  TOP OF BARE ROCKY RIDGE - LATE AFTERNOON - CHIP'S DREAM

CHIP
Well, there it is ... the
Brown Tower. At last!

Nearby, Monty is also prone on the ridge's summit. He has
binoculars as well, and a khaki-and-green camouflage uniform,
with pack and bizarre weapons, including a flamethrower.

MONTEREY
Blimey...! What a sight! ...
So that's where the Talisman
is, eh? Are we sure `bout
that?

CHIP
That's what Professor
Nimnull's notes said.

MONTEREY
Aye ... I just wish we coulda
talked t' `im some more.

CHIP
Yeah ... I'm sorry about that;
I just got carried away.

MONTEREY
Ah, dinna sweat it, Chipper me
lad. It could'na `appened to a
nicer fella.
(lowers binoculars)
Well, at least we know where
we're goin', now. What d'ye
reckon's th' chances we'll
ever get there?

CHIP
(pounds fist into palm)
We'll get there alright. We're
the Earth's last chance. I'm
not going to be plant food
like everyone else!

MONTEREY
`Twon't be your choice, me
lad.

CHIP
(fiercely)
You bet it's my choice! Come
on, let's tell the others.

They begin to descend the rise.

EXT:  WIDE DIRT PATH LINED WITH TOOTHY PLANTS - CHIP'S DREAM

Parked alongside the path is a brown Jeep with an empty
gunmount in the rear.

In a hollow next to the Jeep are Gadget and Dale, dressed
like Monty. Dale is trembling cravenly, biting his nails and
glancing fearfully around. Gadget lounges against one wall of
the hollow, cradling an enormous flamethrower. Zipper is
perched on it.

DALE
I-I don't like this, Gadget.
They've been gone too long! Wh-
what if somethin' happened to
`em?

GADGET
(absently, scanning her surroundings)
Chill out, Dale. They'll be
back soon.

DALE
M-maybe we should get outta
here. I-I don't think they're
comin' back. L-let's get outta
here.

GADGET
Would you be quiet? You're
starting to get on my nerves.

CHIP (O.S.)
Yeah, Dale, would you shut up
already?

Chip and Monty appear and jump down into the hollow.

GADGET
Find anything, guys?

CHIP
You bet we did! We saw the
Brown Tower! And we're going
the right direction. We'll be
there in no time and we'll
stop these mutant plants from
taking over the Earth!

DALE
A-are y' sure? M-maybe it was
a-a mirage, or somethin'.
Maybe we should think about
this for a minute.

Dale whines and fingers his machete as the other Rangers
gather up their gear. Chip takes Dale's elbow.

CHIP
Would you quit whining and
come with us?

Dale jerks himself free of Chip's grasp, trips, and lands
next to a hungry-looking DANDELION. The dandelion seizes
Dale's machete.

DALE
Help! Chip, save me!

CHIP
You bozo! You'll get yourself
killed yet!

Chip yanks Dale to safety and squeezes off a burst from his
flamethrower. The killer dandelion drops the machete and
collapses in a heap of ashes.

Chip drags Dale to the Jeep and throws him into the passenger
seat, then climbs in and starts the engine.

CHIP
Everybody in? Okay, we're off
to save the world!

The Jeep roars off. Behind it, the path is sealed shut by
interleaved tendrils. Thousands of carnivorous TUMBLEWEEDS
pour down the rise and fill the hollow, growling and snapping
and devouring one another. Then they roll off after the Jeep.

EXT:  ON THE ROAD - LATER AFTERNOON - CHIP'S DREAM

The Jeep bounces along the rutted track. Forests of mean-
looking plants tower to either side. Chip points.

CHIP
Look, guys! It's the Tower!
We're almost there!

EXT:  BROWN TOWER LOOMING IN DISTANCE - CHIP'S DREAM

EXT:  ROADBLOCK - CHIP'S DREAM

Abruptly their path is blocked by a rearing mass of woven
VINES. Chip brings the Jeep to a skidding stop.

MONTEREY
Blimey! It's a roadblock!

CHIP
No problem! Gadget, if you
please?

Gadget attaches her flamethrower to the gunmount. She lowers
her goggles and delivers a blast of flame.

Meanwhile, unseen by the Rangers, the toothy tumbleweeds
catch up to them and start to gnaw on their tires.

Gadget lets up, having created a large hole in the leafy
wall.

DALE
Yeah! All right! Nothing can
stop us now!

The Jeep lurches as four pops are followed by hisses. The
Rangers look down and see that the tumbleweeds have eaten
their tires.

Chip glances behind them, does a double-take, gasps and
points at the horde of tumbleweeds charging them from behind.

CHIP
Gadget!

Gadget swings her barrel around and fries the weeds. They
crisp and retreat. Chip steps on the gas and the Jeep lurches
forward through the rapidly closing opening.

Zipper is snared by a grasping vine, but Monty grabs him and
pulls him free. Behind them, the opening closes tightly.

EXT:  ON THE ROAD AT HIGH SPEED - CHIP'S DREAM

Dale is in a fetal position in his seat, whimpering.

MONTEREY
Chipper, d'ye think we can
make it there on the rims?

CHIP
I don't know! Guess we'll know
soon.

DALE
Oh gosh, we're dead we're dead
we're all dead for sure!

ALL EXCEPT DALE (IN UNISON)
Be QUIET, Dale!

EXT:  WIDE PLACE IN ROAD - CHIP'S DREAM

A forest of waving fronds pokes up ahead and begins hurling
huge pine cones at the Jeep. The windshield shatters; the
Rangers duck.

GADGET
Golly! Look out, Chip!

A huge BEANSTALK bursts out of the ground under the Jeep,
flipping it onto its side and dumping the Rangers out.

They take cover behind the Jeep as the pine cones rain down.

MONTEREY
Chip, do somethin'! Our
flamethrowers dinna reach!

CHIP
I am doing something!

Chip pulls the pin on a grenade with his teeth and flings it.
The ground bucks in a tremendous EXPLOSION. Fragments of
shredded leaves drift down all around in the sudden silence.

CHIP
So much for that. Come on!
We've got to keep moving!

EXT:  WITHERED, CRAGGY PLAIN - LATER AFTERNOON - CHIP'S DREAM

The Rangers run toward the Tower, which is quite close now.
They unlimber their flamethrowers and hose them about.

Dale shakes, holding his flamethrower as if it were a dead
fish.

DALE
Oh gosh, I can't take this,
you guys, I really can't...

MONTEREY
Pipe down and `elp us, Dale!
Dinna just stand there!

DALE
I just can't take this!

Dale drops his flamethrower and runs away from a curious
tendril. He collides with Gadget, knocking her into a patch
of carnivorous flowers. Two DAISIES grab her.

GADGET
Ugh ~ help! Help! Get these
things off me!

Chip darts in and grabs her around the waist. He slashes with
his machete. Gadget pops free in a cloud of petals; she
embraces him.

GADGET
Oh, thank you, Chip! You saved
my life!

CHIP
(bemused, as it rains daisy petals)
She loves me ... she loves me
not ... she loves me.

Meanwhile, a large VENUS FLYTRAP bends down and slurps up
Dale. His cries are muffled, but Monty rushes to his aid. 

MONTEREY
Blimey, Dale, can't ye be a
little more careful?

Monty and Zipper heave at Dale's waving legs as Chip and
Gadget arrive. Chip uses his machete, severing the flytrap's
stalk. An enveloped Dale thumps to the ground. Gadget cuts
him free.

DALE
Ahhh! Millions of `em! They
snuck up on me!

CHIP
Dale, I saw the whole thing.
You weren't even looking! Be
more careful next time. Now
come on!

They hurry off down an empty lane lined with writhing fronds.

EXT:  GRASSY AREA - GETTING ON TOWARD DUSK - CHIP'S DREAM

CHIP
There it is! Just a little
more now ~ whoops!

Chip is standing on a patch of GRASS; as he says this, the
grass grabs his feet. He wavers, then topples, losing his
weapons.

CHIP
Oh no! It's Grab Grass!

Dale, although unmolested, whimpers and drops to his knees,
hiding his face. Gadget and Monty, moving to help Chip, are
both seized, Gadget by a GRAPEVINE around her ankle, Monty by
a voracious ROSEBUSH. Both drop their weapons, though Monty
retains his machete. He slashes at thorny branches.

As Gadget is dragged away, she gropes for her weapons, which
are increasingly out of reach. She tries to grab the ground.
Zipper takes hold of her hair and pulls valiantly.

GADGET
Dale ~ would you please ~ help
me out here?

Dale blubbers.

Chip, meanwhile, is straining to move his right arm. He can
almost reach his machete.

Gadget, dragged farther, sees the bunch of toothy GRAPES that
awaits her and gulps. Just then, luckily, she is seized by
another patch of "Grab Grass."

Monty arms a grenade, but he fumbles it; the rosebush holding
him snatches it from him and hurls it far away to explode
harmlessly.

MONTEREY
Chipper, laddie! Do somethin'!

Chip is muttering to himself, straining with all his might.
At last, with a ripping sound, he reaches his machete. He
slashes himself free of the grab grass, grabs his
flamethrower, and looks from one crisis to another. He points
at Dale.

CHIP
Dale, help Gadget!

Dale whimpers and does nothing. Gadget is temporarily safe,
caught in a tug of war between the vine and the grab grass.

Chip runs over to Monty and points his flamethrower at the
rosebush, which quickly holds Monty in front of it as a
shield.

CHIP
Monty, get out of the way!

MONTEREY
I can't `elp it, Chip! Do
somethin'!

Chip grabs a grenade, arms it, and lobs it over to land
behind the rosebush (which grabs for it and misses). It goes
off, blasting the rosebush to flinders.

A sooty Monterey ends up on top of Chip. He groans woozily.

MONTEREY
Nice shot, Chipper.

CHIP
Gadget!

Chip extricates himself and runs to Gadget, who is just then
ripped free of the grab grass, losing most of her equipment
and uniform. Chip grabs her hand and digs his feet into the
ground.

CHIP
I've got you, Gadget! Monty,
Dale, help me!

Monty, still stunned, slips and sprawls. Dale just whimpers.

Gadget pulls Chip`s machete from his belt and slashes through
the tendril with it. They spring free, landing on Monty and
nearly flattening him. Monty gasps.

The grapes growl loudly and send more tendrils snaking toward
them. Chip slashes a few. Monty rights himself.

CHIP
Monty, get rid of these, would
you?

Monty arms a grenade, then winds up and delivers it. The
explosion rains debris on them, including bouncing grapes.

Dale is still hiding his eyes. In the sudden silence, he
peeks out and sees the Rangers in an angry circle around him.

DALE
Did anybody get eaten?

ALL EXCEPT DALE (IN UNISON)
SHUT UP!

CHIP
Gee whiz, Dale! You're
useless!

He shoves Dale into Monty, who drags Dale after them as they
move toward the mammoth Brown Tower just a few feet away.

EXT:  BROWN TOWER'S ENTRANCE - EVEN LATER - CHIP'S DREAM

A sort of narrowing corridor into the side of the Tower
terminates in a stone door, about as tall as Monty. Chip
approaches it.

CHIP
This is it, guys! This is the
Tower! We made it!

The others, fearful, hang back. Chip grabs an iron ring on
the door. It slowly CREAKS open. He advances inside. The
others move gingerly into the corridor leading to the door.

Behind them, a writhing mass of vines, tendrils, and thorns
boils into view from both sides.

INT:  THE BROWN TOWER - CHIP'S DREAM

Chip is in a huge stone chamber, stretching up to infinity.
Running around the outer wall of the Tower is a spiral
staircase leading upward. Before him is a pedestal; on it is
a golden object, the TALISMAN. It looks like the blade of a
circular saw. It shines, filling the chamber with unearthly
golden light.

CHIP
Look, guys! The Talisman!
We've made it!

The others cry out behind him. He turns to see the boiling
sea of plant life swamp the other Rangers, filling the
entryway. They struggle uselessly as the burgeoning mass
carries them forward. Before they reach the doorway, tendrils
slam it shut in front of them. Then the door buckles under
the pressure from outside. Cracks appear everywhere as the
vines force their way through.

CHIP
Whoops.

EXT:  THE BROWN TOWER IN A SEA OF VINES - SUNSET - CHIP'S
DREAM

The waving vines are climbing the Tower and burrowing into
it, crumbling the walls.

INT:  THE BROWN TOWER - CHIP'S DREAM

CHIP
There's only one chance! I've
got to expose the Talisman to
the sunlight!

He grabs the Talisman and runs up the stairs.

INT:  THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE - CHIP'S DREAM

Now Chip races up the stairway, viewed from above. The vines
are right behind him, penetrating the walls and disassembling
the staircase beneath him. Flagstones and rubble fall into
the darkness below; the only light is cast by the Talisman.
The staircase goes up and up forever, into the distance.

EXT:  ROOF OF TOWER - SUNSET - CHIP'S DREAM

Chip bursts out of an ornate little arched doorway onto the
roof of the quaking Tower. He races to the edge of the
battlement and beholds the Sun setting redly in the west.

A wall of horrid plant life rears up toward the heavens on
every horizon.

CHIP
There! The sun!

Behind him, the doorway vomits forth vines. More vines cover
the sky, blotting out the sun. Tendrils pour over the
battlements.

Just as Chip is grabbed, he tosses the Talisman into the air.
It rises above him, glowing brightly, then receives one last
BEAM from the setting Sun, through a hole in the leafy
canopy.

EXT:  THE LANDS AROUND - SUNDOWN - CHIP'S DREAM

The beam bounces off in a shockwave that rolls over
everything in sight. All the plants crisp and wither.

EXT:  ROOF OF TOWER - TWILIGHT - CHIP'S DREAM

Chip, free now, whoops with joy.

CHIP
I did it! I did it!! I SAVED
THE WORLD! HOORAY!

He dances a victory dance. Beneath him the Tower, more vines
than stone now, wobbles as the vines shrivel. The flooring
shudders.

CHIP
I won! I won I won I won I
won! YIPPEE...!

With a roar, the Tower collapses beneath him. Chip falls into
a maelstrom of debris and dead vines, whirling like a leaf in
an updraft. Then he lands in bed, wearing his nightshirt.

INT:  CHIP'S ROOM - DAWN - CHIP AWAKE

Chip awakes with a joyous yell. Then he pants briefly.

CHIP
Wow! Wow! What a great dream!
Hey, Dale, you awake?

He looks into the upper bunk, but it is empty.

INT:  TREE'S DINING ROOM - DAWN

Dale, Monty and Gadget are sitting at the table.

MONTEREY
An' then Fat Cat just pops out
o' nowhere, he does! And then
`e ate yer ol' pal Monty like
`e was a little bug! ...Heh ~
uh, sorry, Zipper.

Chip runs out of the passage.

CHIP
Hey, guys, I just had the most
amazing dream!

MONTEREY
Howdy, Chipper. I was just
tellin' the others `bout my
dream. A real nightmare, it
was! Now it's Gadget's turn.

GADGET
Nuh-uh. No way.

MONTEREY
Aw, c'mon, luv'!

GADGET
(holds head)
Not a chance. Oh, golly, it
was so embarrassing.

MONTEREY
Ah, well. Suit yerself. How
`bout you, Dale?

DALE
Uh ... well, I didn't
understand it too good. There
was this weird garden ... and
you guys were there ... and
all kinds of weird stuff
happened.

MONTEREY
Fah! You blokes just aren't
experienced dreamers like yer
Uncle Monty `ere. `Ow about
you, Chip?

CHIP
It was great! The whole world
was covered with mutant plants
from Professor Nimnull's lab,
and we had to find this
Talisman and destroy them all.
And we did! And I was the
hero. I saved the whole world!

The others groan. Gadget gets up.

GADGET
I think I'll go to my workshop
and work on something
incredibly complicated for a
week. Anybody want to help?

CHIP
Sure!

MONTEREY
Well, now, that didn't turn
out so badly. How's about I
make us some more Welsh
Rarebit for tonight's
dinner...?

GADGET
NO!

DALE
Ulp! No thanks. Think I'll eat
out.

Zipper gags and flies away. Chip glances at Gadget,
hesitates.

CHIP
Uh ... well, Monty, maybe some
other time.

Everyone leaves but Monty. He smiles.

MONTEREY
Well, Monty, old man, your
cooking's made a real
impression on `em this time,
it has.
(grins at camera and winks)
A real dream dinner, it was ~
Heh! Heh!

END OF ACT THREE
END